What I did not say.

On the 27th of March 2018, my grandma passed away. Having battled with cancer, she was a warrior and she was ready to meet her Lord.

The last conversation we spoke, in broken Malayalam, was her asking for prayer – prayers for a good night sleep because she couldn’t sleep and she was in pain.

Now that she has passed away, she had never looked more peaceful. Towards the end of her time, she could not speak much and if I knew how quickly her time on earth was coming to an end, I would have told her that I am thankful. So thankful to have a grandma who would wake up early to cook us breakfast. Thank you for cooking even when you couldn’t. Thank you for all the stories you’ve told me about your life which was inspiring and helped me understand you more.

Thank you for making us pray before dinner and teaching us all those Malayalam hymns. It’s a tradition that I didn’t appreciate at the time but it’s a memory that I will cherish. I loved hearing you read the Bible to us. I will always think of you when we sing Malayalam hymns.

I am sorry that I wasn’t there to say goodbye. I am so sorry that I wasn’t there. I am so sorry that I couldn’t communicate better with you. I am sorry that I didn’t get a chance to tell you that I will be going on a mission trip. I’m sad that you won’t get a chance to meet my husband, your grandchildren.

But I am so glad that you are no longer in pain. I know you worry about your kids but let us worry about that. You rest. You have led a very busy life and you kept your whole family afloat even when your rowdy boys were stubborn and when everyone worried about granddad’s health instead of you.

I am so glad that you are no longer in pain and struggling to breathe.

I think the only thing left to say was what was left unsaid all of my life – I love you.

Till we meet again,

Linu

5 verses you need to march into the love of God.

Some days, you forget how loved you are. Some days, you feel like Jesus is a nice story in a nice book but does not relate to your life. But, this is your reminder that the story of Jesus dying the most horrible death for you isn’t a just a nice story in a nice book. You, my friend, are a key character in the story for whom the hero died for. So just in case you forget, – here are your reminders.

Jeremiah 31: 3 The Lord appeared to him from saying, ‘I have loved you with an everlasting love; therefore I have drawn you with loving kindness.”

His love for us is everlasting. Never ending. Nothing we do could ever separate us from His love and He will always keep drawing us to Him. Don’t trust me? Check the next verse!

Romans 8: 35 Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall trouble or distress or persecution or famine or nakedness or danger or sword?

Nothing and I mean, nothing can separate you from God. Believe me. So no matter how badly you feel like you have messed up, trust me, you haven’t.

Psalm 136:2-3 Give thanks to the God of gods, for his steadfast love endures forever. Give thanks to the Lord of lords: His love endures forever. To him who alone does great wonders, His love endures forever.

His love for you endures forever – it endures regardless of your past, what did you last night or how you feel about Jesus. His love endures forever.

1 John 4:19 We love because he first loved us.

He loved us even before we came into being. He loved and died for us even before we knew of Him or even accepted Him. Because he loves us.

Isaiah 49:15-16 Can a woman forget her nursing child, that she should have no compassion on the son of her womb? Even these may forget, yet I will not forget you. Behold, I have engraved you on the palms of my hands; your walls are continually before me.

We are forever on God’s mind and He will never forget us. He is God who had you engraved on the palm of His hands. He will never forget about you. Even if human heart fails you, God will never fail you.

 

Dear future Linu,

I hope you find this letter just when you need it. It is 18:40 on December 24, 2017, and you are sitting in an oversized hoodie, hair in a bun, pushing back your glasses as you are typing this.

Just before the day rolled in, in the early hours of this morning, you were feeling overwhelmed with emotion and you felt the Lord say: ‘it’s all going to be alright.’  That’s what you should carry as you take on this year and hustle for all the dreams that you and God dreamed up together.

Remember that you have an amazing bunch of friends and you better not taken them for granted. Keep praying for them and standing with them in prayer and praise, through the ugly-crying stages and the laugh-till-your-belly-hurt-phases.

You are doing such a good job at trying to love yourself and seeing yourself through your Father’s eyes. 23 years ago, you must have probably bargained with God to let you come out a few days before you were due because you smelt the biriyani cooking but remember that it was God who spoke you into existence and knit you so wonderfully. Never stop seeing yourself as a masterpiece.

In this last year alone, you have

  • Met Matt Redman and James Cameron’s parents.
  • Continued journaling.
  • Wrote goals for the year and 5-year goals.
  • Trusted God more.
  • Preached more than once.
  • Started a church internship.
  • Did a mini-intro at Kiss FM studio.
  • Zip-lined.
  • Hit the bullseye 5 minutes into learning archery.
  • Started to learn MMA and fell in love with left hooks and tornado kicks.
  • Wrote psalms.
  • Wrote interviews that came in an independent magazine – Junia.
  • Started a secret life with God.
  • You didn’t stop on six.

 

Keep going. Know that your wild heart is carefully protected by your fiercest lover, Jesus. Walk into a situation, with your head held high, you royal woman of God.

Fear is a lie. #Fearless

Everyone knows of the good ol’ lad – Timothy. Tim was a great guy. He was a young kid that was under an amazing leadership of Paul and had such wisdom from God. In one of his letters, Timothy talks about how God has not given us a spirit of fear but of power, love and self-control.

I find this very hard to apply this to my life. If God has not given us a spirit of fear, why do I get anxious? 

God did not sugarcoat His answer for me: it’s all about choice.

Fear is a choice. You can choose not to fear because fear is a lie.

Let’s break it down. Emotions, such as fear and sadness are emotions that every human experience. Even Jesus, wept when his friend Lazarus died, He got angry when the temple was wrongly used and He was fearful when He knew the time has come to be crucified.

But with emotions, you can do one of two things. You can react like a coke bottle with hundreds of mentos stuffed in OR you can respond to your emotion, identify the feeling and CHOOSE to respond in a more Christ-like way.

When Jesus was scared about being crucified, He said ‘if You are willing, take this cup from Me; yet not My will but Yours be done.’

Jesus allows us to realise that no matter what we are feeling, it’s a choice to allow God to do His will, not ours.  

Mike Donehey from Tenth Avenue North when talking about his song Strong Enough to Save, talked about his inspiration for writing this one line in the song: ‘fear is just a lie’. Donehey says that he was reading a Russian novel called The Brothers Karamazov by Fyodor Dostoyevsky where Fyodor says ‘avoid fear, fear is simply the consequence of every lie’.

Donehey then goes on to say drop the golden nugget of wisdom where he reminds us who the father of every lie is – Satan.

So can I encourage you to trace back your fear to see if it leads back to a lie that Satan might have said?

Let’s come to our main man Tim. Like we said, he was a great guy and his golden nugget of wisdom – we don’t have a spirit of fear but of love, power and self-control. Doing some research, we find that he practised what he preached.

That man was fearless and had a bold spirit. Tim had grown to be a bishop in Ephesus. There was a great procession in Ephesus in order of goddess Diana and Tim tried to stop it. Sadly, he was beaten and stoned to death.

He was eighty when he died.

God did not give him a spirit of fear but one of love, power and self-control. He would have been scared but he chose courage. Fear was a lie.

I AM Series: 10 Truths to Speak Over Yourself. #ThursdayTruths

Hey friend, 

We are at week four and I pray that these truths will combat any lies that are thrown at us. I hope you continue to speak these truths or other truths that you find from the Bible and transform your life.

Here are this week’s truths:

I am firmly rooted in God’s word.

I am thankful for everything God has done for me.

I am healed.

I am joyful because the joy of the Lord is my strength.

I am priceless.

I am anointed.

I am a conqueror.

I am who God says I am.

I am created in the image of God.

I am loved. I am so very loved.

I hope you enjoyed this month’s I Am Series. Post a comment if you like any more of these truths, a topic you want me to write about or ideas for my next series. I have my inspiration cap on! 

Love, 

Linu 

I AM Series: 10 Truths to Speak Over Yourself. #ThursdayTruths

Hello friend.

We are at week 3 of the ‘I Am series’ and we are going strong. I think these are some important truths that sometimes slip our mind so keep reminding yourself of these truths. Don’t let anyone tell you anything different to what God tells you.

I am valuable.

I am the apple of His eye.

I am God’s treasured possession.

I am not a mistake.

I am here in this world for a purpose.

I am never separated from God.

I am part of a chosen generation

I am the light of the world.

I am delivered from the powers of darkness.

I am loved.

Love,

Linu

I AM Series: 10 Truths to Speak Over Yourself. #ThursdayTruths

How are you doing friend? Have you been telling these truths to yourself whilst looking at the mirror? I hope you are nodding yes at the screen. If not, don’t worry – keep going; don’t stop now. Habits, especially good habits take time. Here is the next lot of truth you should tell yourself this week!

I am blessed.

I am forgiven.

I am a citizen of Heaven.

I am the salt of the earth.

I am a masterpiece.

I am not a slave to sin.

I am a new creation in Christ.

I am protected.

I am chosen by God.

I am loved.

Love,

Linu